Day 12
Pressing financial issues having been settled, Jamie and I walked to the plaza. The air was surprisingly cool, and a few people were already out enjoying their lunch. We set up a table to ourselves and talked.
“City full of mindreaders.” Jamie said, shaking her head. “It's bad enough, you know, hanging around you. I like you, Derek, so I tolerate the fact that you can peer into my head anytime you want to. I mean, at least you don't answer questions I haven't asked like Orin did.” she smiled a bit. “But I only barely tolerate it. Don't know what I'm going to do in a city like this.”
I was paying attention more to the words she wasn't saying. No, not to what she was thinking, but what she was implying. She had already decided to stay in the city, that much was clear. I was fairly certain she was complaining just to have a topic of conversation.
“I can teach you the mind-blanking exercises that I did John.” I offered. “I kept meaning to do it even before the siege, though of course I had different reasons back then.” One of the reasons I'd put it off, in fact, was my fear of people like Shaw. I hadn't known him then, of course, but I'd suspected there were people like him in the Troopers, giving them a direct line into the minds of the people they 'protected'. Mind-blanking was a dead giveaway that you were either a telepath yourself or knew someone who was.
“I don't know, you don't think that'd be a little close minded?” she said, looking at me with the self-satisfied smile of someone who has just made a truly terrible joke.
“You set me up for that.” I pointed out.
“Yes.” She replied simply. “It actually doesn't bother me much, anymore, having people poke around in my head. I've learned not to think things I don't want picked up when others are around. I do all my serious thinking once I'm asleep.”
“Don't know if even that's safe.” I pointed out. “I once accidentally shared a dream with someone.”
Jamie's eyes widened; both they and her mind seemed to carry the same message: That can happen?
I laughed, and she narrowed her eyes at me. “You're making that up!” she accused.
“Yes.” I replied, just as simply as she had.
She kept trying to look at me sternly, then gave up in laughter. “Fine, I'll stop messing with your head if you stop messing with mine. Deal?”
“Deal.” I agreed, knowing that this deal would last perhaps the entire lunch if it were unusually long-lived.
We ate in silence for a while, Jamie's chief method of communication being suspicious glances at me. True to what she had said, her mind was mainly on her food and didn't stray to the topic of revenge on myself . It occurred to me that Jamie had learned a far more difficult skill than that of keeping ones mind blank: Keeping your mind unremarkable. The sort of thinking she was displaying now was the kind of thing that wouldn't make a mind-reader look twice.
“You know, if you'd have told me at the beginning of the year that I'd be a fugitive hanging around with old ex-soldiers and a telepath, I'd have looked at you like you were nuts.” she'd finished eating, and had turned thoughtful. “But given the choice between this and finishing my net degree, I'd choose this every time.”
“I'm flattered.” I replied, more by her associated thoughts than her words; my presence was one of the major reasons she'd stayed on. She'd never made a secret of it, but what she'd just spoken had been the closest she'd ever come to speaking the words. I wasn't like Orin, though, I wasn't going to go ahead just because I knew what people were thinking. I've often found that people's minds are at war with themselves. Often people think things they don't mean, or even hold two contradictory thoughts in their mind at once. I've found that waiting to hear what people have to say is the better idea.
Jamie leaned forward, and for a moment her thoughts were a jumble as she tried not to think something. “I'll have you know, I've had more hands-on experience with this than I would have had I got a real job. Putting the tap on Stahl's line before the siege, siphoning off all that bandwidth for Dana's contacts, not to mention all the volunteer work we did in the quarantine zone back when I was legit. That was, what, a month or so ago?”
It had been just over a month. Two months ago, Jamie had come into the headquarters of our front company – one of the many Afflicted outreach centers. She'd been offering to volunteer for us, help keep the quarantine connected to the rest of the net, and we'd taken her up on it. I'd been assigned as her boss, both because Jamie had never been inside quarantine before that and because Dana wanted me to keep an eye on her thoughts. Dana had wanted everyone who came in the door sized up for potential rebel membership. Jamie was one of the few who'd panned out.
“Your job was a lot easier than mine.” I said. “I had to figure out how to look like I know what the hell I'm doing while keeping an eye on the new recruit and seeing how well she might fit in with our little group.”
“I knew that's why you were there!” Jamie was gesturing at me with her fork, though thankfully not in an overly threatening way. “It didn't make sense for me to have a guide beyond the first week or two, the quarantine zone wasn't that big. Of course, once they let me in on the whole 'mind-reading' thing it didn't take long for me to realize what was actually going on.”
Jamie had, when we'd inducted her a month ago, seemed surprised that a telepath like me was allowed to wander the streets freely, in and out of quarantine without issue. Of course, the answer was that I wasn't, at least not legally. Smuggling people who could pass for normal out of the zone was one of our foremost goals, and I'd been one of the first. Others, more visibly Afflicted, we helped escape the city. I wouldn't be surprised to find that they'd eventually made it to this very location.
I just shrugged in response to her question. “That particular job was, I must admit, quite a bit more pleasant than some” I smiled at her.
She looked a me suspiciously again. “Derek Perkins, are you hitting on me?”
I nodded. “A little.” It was stupid of me, but I was nervous. I'd let slip that I enjoyed her company, something that had to have been obvious, and she'd right away knew what I'd been trying to get at. Her mind was clouded with conflicting thoughts, none of which I could pick out of the noise. Either she was making a concerted effort to keep me out of her mind, or she was just as nervous as I was.
Her mind cleared at the same time she took a deep breath, exhaled, looked me directly in the eye and said. “It's about god-damn time.”
With that we left, and continued our self-guided tour of the city. Not much was said, but her hand was in mine and her mind was at peace. I didn't know what to think; all this time of me not reacting to her thoughts, not daring to move forward, and one casual slip had given me what I'd wanted to ask for for two months now. The silence that encompassed our walks seemed to typify this. Things had changed, I didn't even know how, but they had with a suddenness that surprised both of us.
That night when we arrived back at the house, Jamie smiled. “I'm glad to have gotten that whole 'I like you' thing out of the way. Because I do. Dana's nice and all and John... well, John's a dick, but you're the reason I stick around.”
I shrugged. “That job where I'm supposed to be your watcher... that only lasts a week, week and a half tops. I stayed on because I wanted to.”
She laughed lightly. “Glad to know you're of the same mind. I'm going to sleep now, and I don't want this to get weird and I know you're male, so I'm going to explain this now: I'm sleeping alone. But don't think it's because I don't like you.” With that she kissed me, quickly, and darted inside.
Alone in the cooling night, I smiled. I should have said something earlier.
“City full of mindreaders.” Jamie said, shaking her head. “It's bad enough, you know, hanging around you. I like you, Derek, so I tolerate the fact that you can peer into my head anytime you want to. I mean, at least you don't answer questions I haven't asked like Orin did.” she smiled a bit. “But I only barely tolerate it. Don't know what I'm going to do in a city like this.”
I was paying attention more to the words she wasn't saying. No, not to what she was thinking, but what she was implying. She had already decided to stay in the city, that much was clear. I was fairly certain she was complaining just to have a topic of conversation.
“I can teach you the mind-blanking exercises that I did John.” I offered. “I kept meaning to do it even before the siege, though of course I had different reasons back then.” One of the reasons I'd put it off, in fact, was my fear of people like Shaw. I hadn't known him then, of course, but I'd suspected there were people like him in the Troopers, giving them a direct line into the minds of the people they 'protected'. Mind-blanking was a dead giveaway that you were either a telepath yourself or knew someone who was.
“I don't know, you don't think that'd be a little close minded?” she said, looking at me with the self-satisfied smile of someone who has just made a truly terrible joke.
“You set me up for that.” I pointed out.
“Yes.” She replied simply. “It actually doesn't bother me much, anymore, having people poke around in my head. I've learned not to think things I don't want picked up when others are around. I do all my serious thinking once I'm asleep.”
“Don't know if even that's safe.” I pointed out. “I once accidentally shared a dream with someone.”
Jamie's eyes widened; both they and her mind seemed to carry the same message: That can happen?
I laughed, and she narrowed her eyes at me. “You're making that up!” she accused.
“Yes.” I replied, just as simply as she had.
She kept trying to look at me sternly, then gave up in laughter. “Fine, I'll stop messing with your head if you stop messing with mine. Deal?”
“Deal.” I agreed, knowing that this deal would last perhaps the entire lunch if it were unusually long-lived.
We ate in silence for a while, Jamie's chief method of communication being suspicious glances at me. True to what she had said, her mind was mainly on her food and didn't stray to the topic of revenge on myself . It occurred to me that Jamie had learned a far more difficult skill than that of keeping ones mind blank: Keeping your mind unremarkable. The sort of thinking she was displaying now was the kind of thing that wouldn't make a mind-reader look twice.
“You know, if you'd have told me at the beginning of the year that I'd be a fugitive hanging around with old ex-soldiers and a telepath, I'd have looked at you like you were nuts.” she'd finished eating, and had turned thoughtful. “But given the choice between this and finishing my net degree, I'd choose this every time.”
“I'm flattered.” I replied, more by her associated thoughts than her words; my presence was one of the major reasons she'd stayed on. She'd never made a secret of it, but what she'd just spoken had been the closest she'd ever come to speaking the words. I wasn't like Orin, though, I wasn't going to go ahead just because I knew what people were thinking. I've often found that people's minds are at war with themselves. Often people think things they don't mean, or even hold two contradictory thoughts in their mind at once. I've found that waiting to hear what people have to say is the better idea.
Jamie leaned forward, and for a moment her thoughts were a jumble as she tried not to think something. “I'll have you know, I've had more hands-on experience with this than I would have had I got a real job. Putting the tap on Stahl's line before the siege, siphoning off all that bandwidth for Dana's contacts, not to mention all the volunteer work we did in the quarantine zone back when I was legit. That was, what, a month or so ago?”
It had been just over a month. Two months ago, Jamie had come into the headquarters of our front company – one of the many Afflicted outreach centers. She'd been offering to volunteer for us, help keep the quarantine connected to the rest of the net, and we'd taken her up on it. I'd been assigned as her boss, both because Jamie had never been inside quarantine before that and because Dana wanted me to keep an eye on her thoughts. Dana had wanted everyone who came in the door sized up for potential rebel membership. Jamie was one of the few who'd panned out.
“Your job was a lot easier than mine.” I said. “I had to figure out how to look like I know what the hell I'm doing while keeping an eye on the new recruit and seeing how well she might fit in with our little group.”
“I knew that's why you were there!” Jamie was gesturing at me with her fork, though thankfully not in an overly threatening way. “It didn't make sense for me to have a guide beyond the first week or two, the quarantine zone wasn't that big. Of course, once they let me in on the whole 'mind-reading' thing it didn't take long for me to realize what was actually going on.”
Jamie had, when we'd inducted her a month ago, seemed surprised that a telepath like me was allowed to wander the streets freely, in and out of quarantine without issue. Of course, the answer was that I wasn't, at least not legally. Smuggling people who could pass for normal out of the zone was one of our foremost goals, and I'd been one of the first. Others, more visibly Afflicted, we helped escape the city. I wouldn't be surprised to find that they'd eventually made it to this very location.
I just shrugged in response to her question. “That particular job was, I must admit, quite a bit more pleasant than some” I smiled at her.
She looked a me suspiciously again. “Derek Perkins, are you hitting on me?”
I nodded. “A little.” It was stupid of me, but I was nervous. I'd let slip that I enjoyed her company, something that had to have been obvious, and she'd right away knew what I'd been trying to get at. Her mind was clouded with conflicting thoughts, none of which I could pick out of the noise. Either she was making a concerted effort to keep me out of her mind, or she was just as nervous as I was.
Her mind cleared at the same time she took a deep breath, exhaled, looked me directly in the eye and said. “It's about god-damn time.”
With that we left, and continued our self-guided tour of the city. Not much was said, but her hand was in mine and her mind was at peace. I didn't know what to think; all this time of me not reacting to her thoughts, not daring to move forward, and one casual slip had given me what I'd wanted to ask for for two months now. The silence that encompassed our walks seemed to typify this. Things had changed, I didn't even know how, but they had with a suddenness that surprised both of us.
That night when we arrived back at the house, Jamie smiled. “I'm glad to have gotten that whole 'I like you' thing out of the way. Because I do. Dana's nice and all and John... well, John's a dick, but you're the reason I stick around.”
I shrugged. “That job where I'm supposed to be your watcher... that only lasts a week, week and a half tops. I stayed on because I wanted to.”
She laughed lightly. “Glad to know you're of the same mind. I'm going to sleep now, and I don't want this to get weird and I know you're male, so I'm going to explain this now: I'm sleeping alone. But don't think it's because I don't like you.” With that she kissed me, quickly, and darted inside.
Alone in the cooling night, I smiled. I should have said something earlier.
posted by Roger Ostrander at 5:35 PM
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